9 brutal (but effective) tests to cut down your guest list...

Editing your guest list is one of the hardest parts of wedding planning. Between family expectations, old friends, and the vague sense of obligation to invite everyone you’ve ever met, the numbers can spiral quickly.

This is brutal, we know—and it won’t apply to everyone. But if you’re looking to make tough, no-nonsense decisions, these rules are for you. Because the truth is, every guest takes up space, budget, and energy. Your list should feel intentional and, above all, joyful.

So, grab your bride or groom-to-be and ask the tough questions below. These guidelines will help you cut through the guilt and keep the focus firmly on who really matters.

The Coffee Test

Would you actually sit down for a one-on-one coffee with them? If the thought makes you squirm, they don’t need a seat at your wedding.

The Text Test

Do you send them updates, even the occasional life highlight? If they’re not in the loop when big things happen, they don’t need to be present for this one.

The Effort Test

Since you got engaged, have they reached out to congratulate you? If they haven’t, that could be a sign...

The Energy Test

When you picture them on the day, do you feel a lift or a drain? A wedding guest should feel like a gift, not a chore.

The Season Test

When was the last time you saw them—this year, last year, or years ago? If your relationship hasn’t been part of your life recently, it doesn’t really need to be part of your wedding.

The Day-After Test

Imagine waking up the next morning. Would you notice (or care) if they weren’t there? If the answer is no, cross them off.

The Reciprocity Test

Did they invite you to their wedding or a major milestone? If not, you’re under no pressure to extend the gesture.

The Invite Chain Test

Are they on the list only because someone else insists they should be? Obligation is not a reason enough to buy them dinner.

The Budget Test

Every guest represents a cost, sometimes upwards of a few hundred dollars. Would you genuinely spend that amount just so this person can attend? If not, save the seat (and the champagne) for someone else.